Namaz Parha Karo Is Sey PeLeY Ap ki NaMaZ ParHi JiE
My Reversion to Islam...
Today I finally decided to write about my own journey to Islam.
A
journey that started many many years ago. For those of you who do not
know me, I was born in Athens in Greece. There is where I lived to the
end of my high school years. My family was small but very loving, I
only have one sibling (sister) and our parents gave us the best they
could.
Religion
did not play a big part in my life as I was growing up. When we were
young we would go to church but that was not very often. The usual
attendances maybe for Easter, weddings, baptisms, and the occasional
Sunday. A few times I even went to Sunday school.
However God was at the back of my mind but as something very distant.
I
used to be conscious that sometimes He was watching me but that did
not stop me to at times act upon my whims and desires. I had this
belief that He would understand and forgive me no matter what I was up
to. The Christian belief of we will be forgiven as a result of the
sacrifice of Jesus(as) was deep rooted in me.
Anyway,
when I finished high school in Greece I came over to UK to continue my
education. Here is where I met my husband who was a Muslim.
I
was not compromising at all in any religious matters. So religion was
something that we never discussed. I respected his faith and he, mine.
I
had deep rooted negative beliefs and fear of Islam. In school we had
learnt only very little about Islam and a very negative picture was
embedded in me.
When
our children were born, they would all go to the mosque for Eid and
other Islamic occasions but I never joined them. Either I would stay in
the car or stay at home. I was convinced that the Greek Orthodox
religion was the only religion for me and it was the correct faith. Now
how I had come to that conclusion, without even trying to research is a
mystery. I think it was pure arrogance and ignorance all in one.
The
years passed by and I carried on in my own world. I would also feel
guilty for having married a Muslim and at times I felt like a traitor
towards my parents, religion and country.
Then
my husband passed away. He was abroad and my sons were at the airport
travelling to attend the funeral. I received a text message from my
youngest son saying, “Mum we love you and we do not want you to be
different from us when you die and go to a different place. Please
become a Muslim.”
In
my mind I was fighting the concept, but after 30 years I finally
opened the Qur’an. Reluctanlty at first. But then I read and read and
read on. Fascinating. The miracles of the Qur’an, the language (even
though it was only a translation), the stories of the prophets. I knew I
was reading the word of the Lord of the worlds.
Islam
was not a new faith. Islam is the religion that all prophets(as) sent
by Allah brought to humanity with Prophet Muhammad (saw) being the last
and final prophet. It was easy to understand. Believe in One God Only
with no partners and all the prophets.
No
trinity and complicated concepts. So easy to explain to a child. No
need for clergy to speak to Allah (swt). Basically no middle men. Just me and my Creator.
I could speak to Allah (swt) and He could hear me. I speak to Him
during the five daily obligatory prayers. I speak to Him anywhere. In
the car, in the supermarket. Anywhere. I do not need anybody to
intervene on my behalf for forgiveness. I go straight t to Allah (swt),
I repent and I know He hears me and hopefully forgives me. We believe
that He is the best of judges, He hears the supplications and our
sincere requests for forgiveness providing we abstain from the sin.
Islam
is not only religious duties. It is s a wholesome and pure way of
life. A perfect system. Allah (swt) not only sent us the Qur’an as a
guidance but sent us Prophet Muhammad (saw) to show us how to apply the
Qur’an in our lives and how to live in order to enter paradise. The
road to paradise is full of obstacles. The only way we can get into
paradise is by following the Qur’an and the prophetic sunnah. We will
also need the mercy of Allah (swt).
Islam
encourages us to find out things for ourselves. Islam does not say, ”
This is it. Now follow it.” Allah swt says, “Look! Look around you,
travel, look at your own bodies, the sky, the nature. Why can you not
see?”
So
I looked and looked again. I researched. I asked questions. The same
questions again and again. It all came back as one thing. Islam is
Allah’s true religion and I now was ready to become a Muslim.
No
guilt, no doubts just pure determination. I then accepted Islam as my
religion. No need to feel guilty for following monotheism. For being on
the straight path.
I thank Allah for taking me out of the darkness and into light. Alhamdulillah 3 years ago was when I reverted.
He fidgeted uncomfortably on his seat as he nudged his elbow to discreetly push back the loop of a plastic tube that was sticking out from the side of his wheel-chair. I lowered my head and pretended to re-check my audio-recorder in order to give him time to adjust himself, without the embarrassment of being observed.
Brother Salim* is a paraplegic and he is paralysed from the waist down. I was meeting him for an interview for a local newspaper about life in a wheel-chair. Before our scheduled interview, he had kindly sent me books and videos describing the details of his physical condition as well as the everyday challenges faced by people with paraplegia and quadriplegia. Therefore, I was aware of the purpose of that plastic tube that showed up accidentally. That tube was part of a urinary catheter.
The interview went fine, but I returned home a changed person. His story kept resonating in my mind. A sea diving accident had turned his life around: from an energetic air traffic controller to a sedate office worker; from a newly married man to a divorcee; from a physically fit athlete to a wheel-chair bound invalid.
"Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return" (Al Baqarah: 156).
Our Creator tests all of us in different ways. I prayed to Allah (SWT) to grant him patience, and to lighten his burden. I also supplicated to Him to keep me protected from such trials.
But that meeting had awoken another sensation inside me, a feeling that perhaps began as a faint quiver in my core on first seeing him, then grew to an intense throbbing with the blood flowing in every vein, till it reached a point that rattled and shook my very soul: a humbling sense of gratitude.
"Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinns and men) deny?" (Ar-Rahman:13).
My mind was crowded with questions. Have I ever consciously expressed gratitude to Allah (SWT) for my ability to move? Have I truly appreciated my Creator for giving me a perfect body? Have I ever realised that even when I'm sitting, my legs continue to work for me by providing balance? Have I ever thanked my Lord for the ability to effortlessly relieve myself?
Yes, to be able to answer the call of nature in privacy and with dignity is a great blessing of Allah (SWT), something I had never realised before. Brother Salim, due to his condition caused by damage to the spinal cord, is unable to feel when he needs to go to the bathroom so he has to wear a catheter. And when he does go to the toilet, he requires the help of a nurse to clean him.
I remember a saying of one of our pious predecessors: "If a man is able to drink and expel a sip of water with ease, gratitude becomes due on him." Putting all other infinite attributes aside, I pondered and focused over just this one aspect of my body's blessings and it left me in awe.
"And in your creation, and what He scattered (through the earth) of moving (living) creatures are signs for people who have Faith with certainty" (Al-Jathiya: 4).
As a child I had been taught to utter the words of dhikr before and after going to the bathroom. I knew their meanings, but over the years, the remembrance had become a mindless reflex action. That is, until that day. Today, when I utter the word "Ghufranaka" as I leave the washroom, my mind is attentive and aware of the meaning, and my heart is humbled and filled with gratitude at the realisation that many have to suffer the pain of indignity and shame for this natural function of the human body.
Realisation is the first step towards true thankfulness. "No blessing is bestowed on a slave and he realises that it is from Allah, but the reward of giving gratitude for it is written for him..." (Patience and Gratitude by Ibn Al-Qayyim).
I owe my Creator the highest gratitude, so I aim to busy myself with ways of expressing it. The Messenger of Allah (S) said: "There is a (compulsory) Sadaqa to be given for every joint of the human body (as a sign of gratitude to Allah) everyday the sun rises. To judge justly between two persons is regarded as Sadaqa, and to help a man concerning his riding animal by helping him to ride it or by lifting his luggage on to it, is also regarded as Sadaqa, and (saying) a good word is also Sadaqa, and every step taken on one's way to offer the compulsory prayer (in the mosque) is also Sadaqa and to remove a harmful thing from the way is also Sadaqa" (Bukhari).
Leave the future alone until it comes
" The Event [The Hour or the punishment of disbelievers and polytheists or the Islamic laws or commandments], ordained by Allah will come to pass, so seek not to hasten it". ( Qur'an 16:1)
Be not hasty and rushed for things that have yet to come to pass. Do you think is wise to pick fruits before they become ripe? Tomorrow is on-existent, having no reality today, so why should you busy yourself with it? Why should you have apprehensions about future disasters? Why should you be engrossed by their thoughts, especially since you do not know whether they will even see tomorrow?
The important thing to know is that tomorrow is from the world of the unseen, a bridge that we do not cross until it comes. Who knows, perhaps we might never reach that bridge, or the bridge might collapse before we reach it, or we may actually reach and cross it.
For us to be engrossed in expectations about the future is looked down upon in our religion since it leads to our having a long-term attachment to this world, an attachment that the good believer shuns.
Many people of this world are unduly fearful of future poverty, hunger, disease, and disaster: such thinking is inspired by the devil.
" Satan threatens you with poverty and orders you to commit Fahsha [evil deeds, illegal sexual intercourse, sins, etc.], whereas Allah promises you Forgiveness from Himself and Bounty..." (Qur'an 2:268)
Many are those who cry because they see themselves starving tomorrow, falling sick after a month, or because they fear that the world will come to an end after a year. Someone who has no clue as to when he will die(which is all of us) should not busy himself with such thoughts.
Since you are absorbed in the toils of today, leave tomorrow until it comes. Beware of becoming unduly attached to future prospects in this world.
From the Book " Don't be Sad"
Hassan's Note: Before Islam I used to be constantly worry about a lot of things. If some trivial small thing was falling short in the house I used to run and replace it as if my life was depending on it. feelings of insecurity and fear were constantly tormenting me and I had no one to turn to. Alhamdulillah! Now " I put all my trust in Allah, and He is the Best Disposer of all affairs."
Hassan's Note: Before Islam I used to be constantly worry about a lot of things. If some trivial small thing was falling short in the house I used to run and replace it as if my life was depending on it. feelings of insecurity and fear were constantly tormenting me and I had no one to turn to. Alhamdulillah! Now " I put all my trust in Allah, and He is the Best Disposer of all affairs."
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